I can only assume that charges of pedophilia and an attempt to buy the Elephant Man’s bones will follow:
Sammy Sosa tells friends he is comfortable in his own skin.
But a widely circulated photo of the former Cubs slugger makes his skin color appear several shades lighter.
“He’s not trying to be Michael Jackson,” said former Cubs employee Rebecca Polihronis, who talks frequently with Sosa.
Sosa was photographed recently during an appearance at Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino in Las Vegas.
“He is going through a rejuvenation process for his skin,” Polihronis said. “Women have it all of the time. He was surprised he came out looking so white. I thought it was a body double. Part of (the photo appearance) is just the lighting.
“He is in the middle of doing a cleansing process to his skin. The picture is deceiving. He said, ‘If you saw me in person, you would be surprised. When you see me in person, it is not going to seem like the picture.’
I don’t know, Sammy. I’m pretty sure that if I saw you, it’d look exactly like the picture. That’s what most pictures do – they look like the person who was photographed. Except for the girls from J-Date who somehow manage to post pictures of themselves where they appear about 15 pounds lighter than they actually are (they should be sued for fraud!), most photos are pretty accurate. Still, it’s not like Sosa has a history of distorting facts, right? After the guy dumped truckloads of steroids into his body for years and then pretended that he couldn’t speak English before Congress, forgive me if I take his explanation about his new skin tone with a grain of salt. Baseball been berry berry good to me.
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