For those of you playing catch up here is a brief rundown of some MLB deals this offseason and how they may impact their respective teams in the 2010 Season……..

1.) Henry Blanco signs with Mets:  About the same impact I would have in bed on a porn star. ZERO

2.) Mike Cameron signs with Red Sox: Guy has the sex-appeal, but in the end leaves fans mostly limp.

3.) Bobby Crosby signs with Pirates: 20 Years later there will still be hope this guy can be good. Poor Bucs

4.) Pedro Feliz signs with Houston: Phillies should have kept him, great defensive 3b. Pedro has about 5 more teams in him before it’s all said and done, but he’ll hang around

5.) Chone Figgins signs with Mariners: Money talks. Curious move, lotta speed up top. This move looks good if Chone can avoid the playoffs during his tenure

6.)Ross Gload signs with Phillies: (Crickets)

7.) Dick Harden signs with Rangers: Have fun with this guy! He went from brilliant stuff, to an injury issue, to a sucks issue. The strike zone is over the plate pal.

8.) Andruw Jones signs with White Sox: Guy went from 14 mil to $500,000 in to years. Imagine how bad you’d have to screw up your current job to get that kind of paycut.

9.) Brandon Lyon signs with Houston: The Astros really spent a lot of money to not make their team better.

10.) Hideki Matsui signs with Angels: World Series MVP moving to different pastures. A sad day for me as a Yankees fan, I loved Matsui guy is adorable.

11.) Brad Penny signs with Cards: Guy probably saved his tail with his end of the season stint with the Giants. $7.5 mil for a 4.50 Era, check please.

12.) Andy Pettitte signs with Yankees: I <3 Andy Pettitte. He’s like that old golden retriever you can’t put down.

13.) Ivan Rodriguez signs with Nationals: Would you miss this guy if he retired? Odds he did PED’s are the same Odds I won’t get laid this weekend. Strong to quite strong

14.) Billy Wagner signs with Braves: Wags back from the dead, deal became official when Braves realized Pat Burrell is no longer in the NL East

15.) Randy Wolf signs with Brewers: Wow did he get a lot of money, good pitcher, nice guy, don’t expect a 3.23 ERA next season fellas….