5 PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES I DO NOT WANT TO RUN INTO IN A DARK ALLEY

miketyson

My post yesterday about Jared Allen got me thinking; there are some f’in scary dudes that have been or are professional athletes. There are just some guys that would make me shit my pants if I ran into them in a dark alley alone at 2:00 am. Obviously, size and strength are a key component, but the clincher is these dudes do not have normal functioning brains. If there was a “beef” with one of these psychos, guaran”sheed” I’d be laying in the gutter, motionless, perhaps with my pants down….

“Iron” Mike Tyson

mike-tyson

Let’s get the obvious one out of the way. Mike Tyson is freekin’ nuts. This guy scares the piss out of me. He is an absolute psychopath. Combine that with strength and fighting ability and I am dead meat. Definitely potential my pants are off too…..
Ray Lewis

ray lewis

Say what you want about the charity work Ray has done in Baltimore… There is something about Ray Lewis when he intensely stares at you, you just feel like in the back of his mind he’s saying “I’m gonna fuckin kill you”. The guy is crazy, strong, athletic, which basically means I’d be screwed. The murder trial had nothing to do with his decision…

Georges Laraque

may_laraque510a

Cold hard facts: The guy plays in the NHL just to fight people. The guy is 6’3, 240. The problem here is he’s not just a big fighter, he’s wierd as shit. He does wierd ads, odd things.. On paper, you’d think quiet, sweet, NHL fighter. Umm no, this guy actually scares me more than you think….

Ichiro

MARINERS ATHLETICS

Listen, it’s 2:00 a.m., I’m alone in an alley with Ichiro. If I’m not sharp, I may be looking at a serious hit to my ego and a sore butt for 2 weeks, which in turn could be worse than Ray Lewis killing me…… That is all.

Gilbert Arenas

gilbert-arenas1

The guys packing heat dude.. a lot of heat.. plus he’s soon to be broke and unemployed. Two words.. I’m F’ed

More articles by