So you probably saw this derivative commercial before the Super Bowl started yesterday, and it’s really nothing special. As sort of a “sequel” to the MJ vs. Bird H-O-R-S-E game, Dwight Howard and Lebron James play the same game over a bag of greasy disgusting McDonald’s. Whatever.

What I don’t understand is how Lebron and Dwight let Larry Bird get away with eating their McDonald’s. They obviously care enough about what’s in that bag to go all-out in a game of H-O-R-S-E against each other, and it’s cool that Larry just strolls over and eats their food? Lebron wouldn’t participate in the slam dunk contest this year, but that’s because a bag of McDonald’s isn’t on the line.

Anyway, seeing as how valuable the contents of the McDonald’s bag are, Dwight and Lebron should have taught Larry a legend and beaten the shit out of him. And I don’t mean rough him up a bit, I mean beat him so viciously that the doctors won’t be sure that Larry will make it through the night while hooked up to tubes in ICU. I’m talking broken nose, broken ribs, missing teeth, internal bleeding – the works. You’ve gotta send a message and make an example.