Seriously, I’ve seen more excitement at the Ice Capades. What a fucking snoozefest – a countdown from 10 before a friggin video of some dude snowboarding down a hill? They actually played a video? This is the Olympics, Canada. You’ve got to step your shit up. That’s the type of thing you’d see at an NBA game, not an event the entire world is watching. And what was with those drunk dancing Indians? Oh, sorry – Native Canadians.

China knows how to get shit done. They had like half the country pounding drums while the other half put on a light show that could be seen from space. Then Canada follows that up with a video of some schlub snowboarding, and they wonder why nobody in the world respects them as a nation, eh?