If Lebron ever gets seriously injured and missed a significant amount of time, I’m convinced it’s going to be of his own doing. It won’t be a sprained ankle or a tight hammy – one of these days, he’s going to give himself a nasty gash on the head or knock out a few of his teeth from jumping so damn high.

I played basketball for years and years, and my worst injuries always came from dunking on lowered rims for fun. And that’s what the NBA is like for Lebron – like playing on a Nerf basket at his friend’s house where anything goes. Really, no one in sports makes me feel more worthless than the specimen that is Lebron James.