Nice job, asshole:
Former New York Yankees star Chuck Knoblauch pleaded guilty today to a misdemeanor charge of assaulting of a family member in exchange for a year of deferred adjudication, according to court records.
The Houston native was accused of choking his wife, Stacey Stelmach on Sept. 25, 2009, after drinking and taking the anti-anxiety prescription drug Xanax, prosecutors said.
Knoblauch was arrested and charged with a felony after the incident.
I don’t like to make light of domestic violence, but I’ll avoid any “I always knew he was a choker” and “He threw something at her but missed” jokes because they’re lame and unoriginal. What I don’t get is how he had the energy to choke anyone after drinking and taking Xanax. Have you ever tried that combination? I highly recommend it if you don’t plan on moving for the next few hours. Seriously, two beers and a couple of Xanax and you could put a hornet’s nest on my lap and I wouldn’t move an inch. And really, it’s not so much the lack of physical energy, but mental energy. There has to be something more to this story, because the only way he could have choked her after consuming that concoction would be if she tripped and fell into him as he was clapping his hands.
