Kevin Youkilis came up huge last night, reminding baseball fans everywhere that you just can’t keep the Jews down.

BOSTON — Kevin Youkilis scored the go-ahead run on a passed ball after his third extra-base hit and the Boston Red Sox rallied to beat the New York Yankees 9-7 in the major league opener Sunday night.

Boston erased a 5-1 deficit against CC Sabathia and defeated the defending World Series champions in the first night opener in the history of 98-year-old Fenway Park.

First we kill your lord and savior, then we totally own Easter Sunday.  All in a day’s work for the chosen people.  We’re something like 3% of the population in the United States, constantly discriminated against and oppressed for centuries, yet we control all facets of American life, from capital markets to the law to the media to sports.  So it’s only fitting that on Easter Sunday, the player with the best game is none other than the Greek Jewish god of walks, Kevin Youkilis.  It’s a good thing Ryan Braun wasn’t playing; dude would have hit for the cycle.

[Miami Herald]