Fuggin’ lowlife.

PHILADELPHIA — A 21-year-old New Jersey man pleaded guilty Tuesday to vomiting on another spectator and his 11-year-old daughter in the stands during a Philadelphia Phillies game.

Matthew Clemmens, of Cherry Hill, N.J., pleaded guilty to one count each of simple assault, disorderly conduct and harassment for his conduct during an April 14 Phillies-Nationals game at Citizens Bank Park.

Clemmens stuck his fingers down his throat and vomited on Michael Vangelo, an off-duty Easton police captain, and one of Vangelo’s daughters after Clemmens’ companion was ejected from the park, assistant district attorney Patrick Doyle said.

Of course he plead guilty. What’s the alternative? To concoct a defense that you had food poisoning? Anyway, Clemmens’ punishment doesn’t seem that severe at first – probation – but when you keep in mind that he’s now got to say “yes” if he’s ever under oath and asked if he’s ever plead guilty to a crime. He’ll say it’s assault, but a simply background check will show the true nature of the beast. Plus, Clemmens’ deed will forever be archived on the glorious Internet. He will never escape this for as long as he lives.. so there is some satisfaction in that.


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