13,000 people went to the Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Chris Bosh Miami Heat party. 13,000 idiots. How stupid did this party look? I’m sure there were a group of frat guys going, “Yo man, let’s pregame then go to the Miami Heat party. Sweet Bro” It must have been a lot of fun to sit in a crowd and watch three guys walk on stage, do a little dancing, and then sit on stools. Either way, I’m lucky I don’t follow the NBA that closely because this is just the first of extracurricular activities to come from the Miami Heat. Here are 5 things we can expect to see this upcoming season……

1.) Pit Bull and Trick Daddy become the official Miami Heat courtside celebrities

2.) Erik Spoelstra finally loses his virginity. Not too bad for an 18 year old.

3.) Shavlik Randolph bangs Lebron’s Mom

4.) Pat Riley has an affair with Snooki from the Jersey Shore, offers season ticket holders free gym, tanning, and laundry services.

5.) Lebron entrenches himself miles behind Michael Jordan as the best player that ever lived!!! Yay!