We’re spanning the major sports here to come up with the 2010-2011 Rookie All-D-Bag Team. These are the cream of the crop when it comes to being a dickhead in life. Don’t expect big tips from these guys, doormen. The good news is; if you’re a huge fan of one of these players you’re certain to hear more about them in the future. I have no problem blowing these guys up. After all, they’ve earned it….

Mr. Blount is a notorious asshole. He, in his infinite wisdom, decided to punch some dude after losing to Boise State in Oregon’s first game of his senior season. Dbag plus moron = Big Problem. He’ll last with the Titans like I’ll last with Marissa Miller.

Ok, I can admit it. I’m an asshole too. I take every shot possible at D-cuz. How can you not? The guy has rubbed more people the wrong way in the past year than Mel Gibson and Lawrence Taylor combined. I hate his attitude. Shitload of talent. Hate his character. Expect bitching, technicals, benchings for lack of hustle all while dropping 18 and 12.

Our next contestant on the All-D-bag team comes straight from the Washington Nationals farm system. You can tell off the tip that Harper is an arrogant son of a gun. The dude got ejected in a Junior College World Series game basically saying, “Hey teammates, I’m about to get drafted, good luck to you. P.S. Fuck you.” This isn’t surprising when someone is treated like a God since middle school. He’s certain to make a lot of friends in the bigs.

Dez Dez Dez…. It’s still training camp brother. You came into the league with a dogshit reputation, and you’re not helping your cause cowboy. Dez has been making some noise, negative noise. The guy already lost a deal with Under Armour, and now his teammates are going to hate him for bitching about rookie hazing. Shitload of talent. Shit for brains. Enjoy Jerry!

I’ll save the worst for last. This guy is religious, a virgin, hard working, well-spoken, and the quintessential team player. Makes me fuggin’ sick. I’m not buying it!!  I’m calling it now Tebow is going down hard at some point. It’s going to be like Kobe Bryant, Ben Roethlisberger, Ray Lewis, Daryll Strawberry, and Lawrence Taylor all in one! Women of Denver sleep with one eye open.