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As we all know Marcus Jordan has MGM being investigated after his partying and tweeting. First, he was bragging about spending $50k, and next MGM was getting investigated. This got me thinking. If I could pick, which athletes would I want to be my dad. Surely, Michael Jordan would be considered simply because he’s rich, and, not to mention, the greatest basketball player that ever lived. He’s also a degenerate and it’d be impossible to even coming close to following in his footsteps. After careful consideration here are my 5…..

1.) Derek Jeter
derek-jeter

The Captain is the King of New York, so why not be the Prince. Money, check. Character and Morals, check. Hot mom, check please. Guy is also very athletic so there is hope for you as his offspring. Jeter is as cool as they come, and he won’t (God, please don’t make me eat my words) be some two-timing cheater. New York will ALWAYS love Derek Jeter.

2.) Peyton Manning
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I know this may be controversial because there are a lot of Peyton-haters out there. I have to pick Peyton. He’s a good guy off the field, he’s one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever live, and he certainly has some money. I know his commercials are stupid, but the guy has a sense of humor about his dorkiness. Not to mention, you’re going to be gifted with a golden arm. Talk about a pedigree. Baseball or Football seem like a distinct possibility.

3.) Dwight Howard

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I’ll try to keep this as heterosexual as possible. I have selected Dwight Howard because a.) he seems like a good guy and b.) the guy is an ABSOLUTE freak athletically. Someone needs to figure out how to clone this guy’s DNA. His body is ridiculous. He’s huge, and he can fly. I have a small obsession with this dude. Have you seen those delts? A chance to have 50% of his genetic make up gets him on this list.

4.) Usain Bolt

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Unfortunately, this is Dwight Howard part two. Impossible to deny. I’m taking my gift of speed and athleticism to another sport, but hell we’re talking serious speed. Other worldly speed. Not so sure Usain meets the quality guy clause, but we’ll take it. Oh by the way, he’s an Olympic Gold Medalist.

5.) Chad Ochocinco

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Chad doesn’t meet the some of the character prereq’s, but there’s a part of me that thinks having Ochocinco as a dad could be fun. I mean you’d get to share sex stories with your dad. Whenever you get in trouble he would just say, “Child please”. Money and athleticism, check. Could be interesting!





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September 3rd, 2010 at 1:28 pm

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