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I’m not sure how most of your basketball experiences were in high school but I came from a very white, Jewish town where competition at the local JCC was pretty fierce. It’s not like we had a ton of talent on our squad but we were still a decent bunch. And yet holy shit. I had undoubtedly the worst coach in the history of sports.

This is a man who first and foremost is an 8th grade English teacher. He’s about 6’3. He played hoops back in his day. He’s got a smooth jumpshot and loves to watch himself shoot. He knows very little about the game and how to utilize players and he 100% plays guys according to how much he likes them.

However, overall he’s a nice guy. This isn’t a defamation of his character rather a calling out on his lousy coaching.

Here goes….

Dear Coach

I’m writing this letter to let you know that after 13 years since high school graduation I have never forgiven nor will ever forgive you for how bad a job you did as a coach. We went 3-0 in our first 3 games in my senior year and were on our way but you couldn’t handle it could you? Winning just didn’t appeal to you. You decided to completely fuck with a defense that was working and you added like 50 new plays for us screwing up a simple scheme that worked. We ended up under .500 and it severely pissed me off. Granted you’re a nice guy. Don’t get me wrong. When it comes to stuff outside of hoops you’re a decent fellow.

I was by far the best shooter on the team and made the most shots in clutch situations yet you iced me with 2 seconds to go when I was on the free throw line in a game that was decided by 1 point. I mean really? To spite you I banked the last free throw home because well why not? We won the game but at that point I didn’t care. You chose the wrong player to shoot the final shot when we played at the Meadowlands even after I hit the only NBA three of the game. Nothing against our man but at the moment I feel I was more qualified.

You had an undeniable talent to take any possible thing that worked for us and ruin it. You played certain guys out of favor simply because they brought you cookies or were nice to you. You and I clearly had our differences and it was quite annoying. You were offended by guys you didn’t like and prevented them from achieving their heights as players. You played me basically every minute of every game. You made me guard teams’ best players who were always twice my size. You somehow used me in a role that most would look at as being very important yet in some strange way made it seem like I was irrelevant in your plans.

You actually told us “we’re probably not going to win this game” at halftime at which point I nearly threw up as did my teammates. How do you live with yourself as a coach? You seemed to only care about your daughter’s basketball career who I must say is a heck of a player. I don’t think you cared all that much about our team and if we did well or not. You cared about us as people (which was a great thing), but you needed that to bleed into hoops which it did not.

Parents who knew the game couldn’t stand your coaching. Anyone on our team who understood how to play couldn’t stand your coaching. To this day we still talk about how many wrong decisions were made.

Oh and thanks for not giving me recommendations when I wanted to play Division 3 ball. Not that I’d have had any good footage. You probably would have deleted it.





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