(Earmuffs) I have to be blunt about this one. Kim Kardashian is Dr. 90210′s wet dream. Not because of her huge ass and beautiful bossoms, but because of the fact she’s going to be on his operating table before the age of 30. Well what do you mean? Think about it. Kim has done nothing but get pile drived by huge African-American athletes the past few years. At this point, if Average Joe had sex with her it’d be like throwing a pencil down a mine shaft. She probably has more roast beef than the Carnegie Deli.

Kim, sweetheart, I’m begging you. Just take take a 20 second time out from dating athletes. Just chill for a minute girl. If you’re a sexaholic and need ass take the guy who works at Subway home for a couple months. Try and stay out of the pro sports ranks. I’m overly concerned at this point. She’s taking punishment from neanderthals at an alarming rate.