I know I’m asking for the big hurt here, but I just can’t take it anymore. I’m ready to start a petition that would legally prohibit women from a few facets of the sports world. I love chicks, don’t get me wrong. They’re fun to have at tailgating and certain areas, but I just can’t handle some things. Face it, most guys know what I’m talking about, and it’s just painful..

Once again, I really have no issue with women at all, this stuff just isn’t working out….. sorry

Big Thanks to the Squirrel

(5) Wearing “Pink” uniforms

Dude, I could spaz out about this. Pink jerseys, pink hats, pink shirts all sports related. Fuck man. It’s football not the ballet! When you wear pink we know you’re a fraud and you’re just trying to look cute. See above.

(4) Talking About Your Favorite Player

I live in Philadelphia. Do you know how many chicks tell me their favorite player is Chase Utley, Cole Hamels, or was Jayson Werth. Geeeeee I wonder why.. Nobody says Carlos Ruiz or even the best f’in pitcher in baseball Roy Halladay. We see through the bullshit, trust me.

(3) Conversing With Your Friends About Sports

You don’t hear a group of guys talking about the Kardashians do you? Stop trying to jack our shit. It’s basically all we have left. Plus the conversation makes me want to puke my balls out of my mouth.

(2) Fantasy Football

This is similar to the above. What do guys have to do with other guys that is socially acceptable and fun? The answer is not much. Apparently, we can’t have shit because now girls are trying to play fantasy football and other sports. 95% percent of women polled said those who had the first overall pick selected Tom Brady. Ok, I made that up, but you feel me.

(1) Arguing Calls

Dude, I just can’t handle this one. As a matter of fact, I’m spent from this entire article. There is nothing less sexy than a chick arguing a call in sports, ESPECIALLY when she is going with the masses and has no clue what she is talking about. God I hate that. Can’t we just have sports… J and C