I had high hopes in 2010. I figured this would be a big year for me. Unathletic is growing like wild fire, I’ve been working out, everything seemed to be falling in place. I calculated in my mind that with this new found fame and fortune I would have my pick of the women around the world. You know as well as I do fortune and fame draws the babes. When the clock struck midnight last year, I was certain I would have made out with these five chicks by now…

Maybe 2011 will be my year, we’ll see….

(5) Elisabetta Canalis

George Clooney ain’t got shit on me. I would speedbag that guy. Chick has got a tattoo…. just makes me melt…

(4) Gina Carano

I really thought this one was a lock. I’ve been lifting for pete’s sake. I freekin’ love this chick, it’s a sick perversion.

(3) Missy Peregrym

Oh Missy, my favorite. She dated Ben Roethlisberger. I know for a fact I’m better looking than that dick with ears. Now that I’m almost as rich and famous, and a MUCH better gentleman this was a fuggin lock. what the fuck happened!

(2) Kate Beckinsale

This coulda been me.  Who is this grease ball?? Fuck…..

Fuck!

(1) Elin Nordegren

Elin Nordegren was a layup. Fresh off the rebound. We’re both rich. I’m good with kids. Holler at your boy! Sheeit