According to The Post Game,

Both Major League Baseball and the NFL have now warned players about products labeled as containing velvet deer antler. But that may be all the leagues can do. That’s because the banned hormone the antler products are said to include are difficult to flag — even with blood testing.

The growth hormone associated with velvet deer antler, Insulin-like Growth Factor-1 (IGF-1), is banned by the World Anti-Doping Agency and all major sports leagues. But the national lab that tests supplements for the MLB and the NFL, NSF International, does not have a test for it.

Can we just face the facts here please? This is never going to end, ever. It’s just the way it is. Players are using Deer Antler’s now? I mean really? I guess having an edge is having an edge, no matter what.

Speaking of which, here are seven ridiculous “legal” things players do to get that edge……

Deer Antler Supplements

We already mentioned this ridiculous product. But hell, if a deer can get you those 10 extra home runs or the endurance you were looking for and it’s untestable, why the hell not? Probably costs you nothing and you can make an extra 40 million on your next contract.

Stem Cells

Whether it’s your own blood or that of your newborn child, players are increasingly saving blood in the event of injury. This season, as you all know, Bartolo Colon was injecting himself with previous versions of his own blood. It’s been 3 years since he threw a decent pitch and this season he’s been All-Star caliber. You do the math.

Horse Placenta

Soccer players in increasing numbers have gone to Belgrade to get Horse Placenta massaged into their injured parts. Apparently it helps with the healing process. Man that’s gross.

Lager Baths

Now this one I certainly can’t argue with. The ever-reliable Daily Star reports that scores of South American footballers are ditching the horse placenta to bathe in lager mixed with a plant called rue that used to be used as a defense against witches in the Middle Ages. Sounds good to me. I mean come on, it’s bathing in beer.

Goats Blood

Apparently it’s good for healing of injury and “loosening off” things. Whatever that means.

A Little Bit of Cock

Bayern Munich and Germany medic Dr. Hans-Wilhelm Mller-Wohlfahrt (hurrah for copy and paste!) claims that an extract from the crest of cockerels called Hylart – can help to lubricate knee injuries and take away the pain.


The sex drug isnt on the banned substances list and it improves blood flow so, clearly, its a must for coping with the difficulties of playing above sea level. Plus you’d get some awesome home run celebrations.



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August 12th, 2011 at 12:06 pm

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August 13th, 2011 at 5:32 am

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