It happens to all of us. You’re bored at work and you hit up the NFL’s online store and before you know it, you’ve spent $500 on useless crap that really has no functional use other than to tell the World that you’re an impulse buyer.
Take for instance, the above displayed 5 foot Dallas Cowboys helmet for your front lawn. Not only is it ugly and stick out like a sore thumb on your front lawn, but it also says closet homosexual. Just ask Jerry Jones – I heard he has 11 of these lined up on his front lawn.
Is it just me, or does Mike Ditka use some classic 1960′s boobies as the cheerleader mascot for Ditka Classic Motorcycles. This photo was taken from inside the war room of NFL Countdown, and it appears that the all mighty Ditka likes to warm up and argue with Tom and Boomer while wearing this lovely t-shirt.
I searched high and low for a website (30 seconds on Google) but I couldn’t find anything about Ditka Classics. Maybe somebody can shed some light on this. I mean does Ditka sell motorcycles like Shula sells steaks?
Regardless, I think it’s time for this t-shirt to go into mass production. After all, how could you not buy one with such a unique logo design that was clearly created on a bar napkin.
Money and being bat shit crazy. Those look like the two reasons why Steve McNair was the victim of a murder-suicide at the hands of his mistress Sahel Kazemi. Oh, that and the fact that he was also seeing another woman.
Today investigators released the text messages between Kazemi and McNair from just before the murder-suicide.
This weekend I was in the Salem, MA to partake in some adult beverages. If you paid attention in history class, this is where they held those famous witch trials, just like in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”.
While the witch trials are long gone, Halloween in Salem never disappoints in terms of bringing out the crazies. It also brings out some of the best costumes you’ll find, even if it’s only the middle of October.
And this is how I stumbled upon this guy dressed up as Ted Williams. Wipe your tears Red Sox nation, this is funny. The only thing this costume was missing was a can of tuna.
So I guess the qualifications for becoming an NFL owner have changed. No longer do you need to be a rich, cranky, old white dude to ruin a team’s season. Nope, now you just need the rich part, but cranky will help.
This explains why you can now give Fergie an owner’s parking pass to Land Shark stadium. According to US of A Today, Fergie has purchased a small share of the Miami Dolphins. She now joins co-owners Marc Anthony, Venus and Serena Williams and Gloria and Emilio Estefan as people who overpaid for their season tickets.
Sometimes sports fans have too much time on their hands. Sometimes, they might have too much time on their hands and they might be into animation. Animation of Josh McDaniels in a sauna with Jay Cutler, and how Tom Brady told Cutler not play for Josh McDaniels because he’ll ass rape him.
An 18 year-old unemployed Buffalo Bills fan has raise $1,402 online so that he can rent a billboard that will read “It’s time to clean house, RALPH”. Along with that, will be a checklist consisting of Dick Jauron (head coach), Tom Modrak (chief college scout), and John Guy (vice president of pro personnel).
Unfortunately there isn’t room for Trent Edwards, the offensive line, the defensive line, and the secondary.
The best part is that this is only the first billboard and they are now taking donations and submissions for future billboards here. So you can still throw your money away and participate in the nut kicking, both of which I highly recommend if you’re a fan of Bills football and BDSM.
You can consider the photo above my submission.
Are you sick of hearing about the Wildcat offense yet?
But the Dolphins, 31-27 winners over the Jets, were not ready to move on. They took umbrage to comments made by Jets linebacker Calvin Pace, who said he did not respect the Miami “wildcat” offense and called it “nonsense.”
The Dolphins were also incensed by some Jets, including linebacker Bart Scott, calling the wildcat a “gimmick” offense.
“They nonsensed their [butts] all the way up and down the field,” chatty Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder said yesterday in South Florida. “Nonsense? I love nonsense. They say gimmick? Gimmick this, gimmick that. We’ve won games with the wildcat. They ran two fake punts. So if you’re going to say gimmicks, those are real gimmicks.
“Wildcat is an offensive formation, they run it for two years. They have thousands of plays on film about it. Go stop it. Shut up about all the junk-talking and whatever they’re talking about they ain’t going to give us no credit. We’ll see them in three more weeks [Nov. 1]. We’ve got to play them again, so the hell with them.”
So I guess it’s been confirmed. The Wildcat is the gay marriage of NFL offenses. Nobody wants to give it the same credibility as real NFL offenses, but if you have it in your playbook you won’t tell anyone.
All kidding aside, are the Jets and Fins really arguing over whether or not they run gimmick plays? What ever happened to the old “scoreboard” chant?
