At least she’s not banging Jason Richardson.
SCOTTSDALE – The mom of Phoenix Suns player Amare Stoudamire was arrested over the weekend, and we’re getting a listen of a bizarre recording taken shortly after officers took her into custody.
Police say when Amare showed up at the police station, Carrie yelled at him to get a lawyer.
The report read: “(Carrie) had a lot of money inside her wallet that was located inside her purse… she wanted her purse to go with Amare, but she wanted the wallet to go with her. Carrie stated, ‘I don’t trust him, he will take all my money!’”
The officer also said the Carrie insisted she was on her way to alcohol class and had not been drinking.
“Boy that feels good to be arrested and not drunk. Woo hoo!” she says in the tape.
It’s pretty amazing that it’s not double teams or hard fouls stopping NBA superstars, it’s their mom’s embarrassing behavior. Carrie Stoudamire reminds me of a female James Brown, and I wonder if she’s going to be the last NBA mom to make a splash this postseason. They say things happen in threes, right? Maybe Paul Pierce’s mom will make a sex tape.
This is incredible. Calvin Murphy is absolutely convinced that Delonte West was indeed slaying LeBron’s mom. He does sound like he’s telling the truth, has no reason to lie, and the cease and desist order does support the story. Man, I want this to be true. It’ll make the Tiger Woods fiasco look like a blurb on Page 6.
Also, I’m pretty sure Calvin Murphy has turned into Ice Cube’s dad in Friday.
These refs are out of control! Tax fraud, fixing games, and now assault! The power’s clearly gone to their heads.
During halftime of Game 2 of the Eastern Conference finals between the Boston Celtics and Orlando Magic, DeRosa approached press row with the rest of the officiating crew to retrieve his jacket before heading to the locker room when he reacted to a fan standing behind press row yelling at him by picking up a ball and firing a chest pass in his direction.
The fan, Franz Hanning, who happens to be a personal friend of Celtics coach Doc Rivers and the CEO of Wyndham Vacation Ownership, immediately flipped the ball back to DeRosa while continuing his heckling, prompting DeRosa to request security personnel to remove him. Hanning watched the rest of the game from a different seat.
DeRosa, a veteran official with two decades of experience, will be suspended for the next game he was scheduled to work but otherwise appears eligible to continue working the NBA playoffs.
You know that DeRosa was already furious enough to lose his cool and throw the ball, but Hanning catching it like it was no big deal must have really gotten under DeRosa’s skin. He must have felt like such a tiny bitch. But anyway, of course he should be suspended. And just one game is probably not enough, considering if the fan threw something, he’d likely be charged with a crime. The Artest incident in Detroit made it clear that the NBA absolutely can not have players going into the stands, and now a ref actually throws a ball at a fan and all he gets is a one game suspension? Clearly Stern needs DeRosa around to help fix the games.
But wait…what about Chris Farley?
Saturday Night Live’s Super Fans, the beer-drinking, Ditka-loving, sunglasses-wearing Chicagoans who love all things Bears, Bulls, Blackhawks and Cubs, will reunite in June to stage a live reading of a never-produced screenplay from the mid-’90s. The script was written by original SNL writer and original Super Fan Robert Smigel (the guy who does Triumph the Insult Comic Dog) and Mr. Show co-creator Bob Odenkirk. The script featured the Super Fans lamenting the sale of the Bears and the conversion of Soldier Field into a sea of luxury boxes. It never got the greenlight from Paramount.
On June 19, Smigel and Odenkirk will lead a live reading of the script along with original Super Fans George Wendt and Joe Mantegna, as well as film critic Richard Roeper, who will serve as the narrator. Mike Ditka will appear as himself.
This might not be so bad, as both Smigel and Odenkirk are very funny guys. Of course, it’s about 20 years too late, and the absence of Chris Farley is too big an elephant in the room to ignore. May I suggest instead that Smigel and Odenkirk or whoever wants to write a script about Eagles fans? Four degenerate scumbags follow the Eagles from training camp to the Super Bowl. There could be the battery-throwing scene, the riot scene, the Santa being booed scene, and of course, the vomiting on an 11-year-old girl scene. Shit, the thing practically writes itself.
I was never a big Vince Carter fan before it was revealed that he’d mail it in while playing for the Raptors, but after that revelation I’ve pretty much rooted against him. As you can guess, this was pretty satisfying for me. Nothing against Orlando, but Carter really is the biggest pussy in basketball. A hard foul keeps him out of the paint for the rest of the game; everyone knows this. That is, if he hasn’t already fallen down and hurt himself without any other players being within 5 feet of him.
Somewhere, Nick Anderson must be smiling that he’s not the only mega choker in Orlando.
Yeah, that’s the ticket – it was his lower back. Riiight.
Josh Beckett’s bad back has landed him on the 15-day disabled list. Righthanded reliever Joe Nelson was called up from Triple A Pawtucket.
Tim Wakefield will take Beckett’s place in the rotation and start against the Phillies Sunday.
Beckett missed a start earlier this month with a sore back and Tuesday night left his start against the Yankees in the fifth inning because of back issues. Beckett said after the game he didn’t expect to miss a start but the Red Sox decided today to be cautious and place Beckett on the disabled list.
So Joshy B is going on the DL because he’s got a bad back, not because he’s been shitting the bed nearly every outing since he signed that contract. Beckett may very well be hurt, but if it’s not blisters, I’m going to call that this is nothing more than some time off to clear his head.
I’ll always be a Beckett fan (he can do no wrong after dominating the Yanks in 2003), but I unfortunately think we’ve seen his best.
What’s the point? Keep throwing him out there so that he can get his 600th save? Of all the arcane, useless baseball statistics, saves may be the biggest farce of them all.
Milwaukee lost its eighth in a row—its worst slump since 2006—because of some big problems with its bullpen. Hoffman came on with a 4-2 lead and failed to retire any of the five batters he faced, walking off the field with a blank expression after Votto’s single on his 14th pitch.
The 42-year-old closer has blown half of his 10 save chances. He has a record 596 saves, but his trademark fastball-change combination—so effective for so many years—seems to have lost its bite.
Hoffman has given up 19 earned runs and 21 hits in only 13 innings this season.
If I’m a Milwaukee fan, I’m furious, because it’s pretty clear that the organization is putting Hoffman’s personal goals ahead of its own. I mean, why else would they keep trotting the human tee out there to get absolutely lit up every other day? I have nothing against Hoffman – I think he’s had a great career – but a changeup isn’t effective if it’s the same speed as your fastball. Hoffman is 42 and it’s probably time to hang ‘em up, but the Brewers pen is so atrocious that he may not even be the worst possible option.
The question is: will Hoffman get 600 saves? I honestly don’t know that he will.
We joke around and make fun of a lot of athletes and sporting events here on Unathletic, but this is a pretty serious matter. Manute Bol has been hospitalized in Northern Virginia with kidney failure and Stevens-Johnson Syndrome last week. I don’t think it’s a big deal because Manute was a former NBA player or because he’s freakishly tall; it’s a big deal because Manute is a true humanitarian and has devoted a good part of his life to helping the needy in his home country of Sudan. He’s a great guy, and here’s to hoping he makes a recovery.
