I didn’t think we’d ever hear from Mark McGwire again after his appearance before Congress.  I may be wrong.  From MLB.com:

Tony La Russa was expected to return as the Cardinals’ skipper, but he could have a new hitting coach in slugger Mark McGwire.

According to ESPN.com’s Buster Olney, La Russa has signed a multi-year contract to return. But Hal McRae will not return as the Cardinals hitting coach and will be replaced by McGwire.

You don’t really think of St. Louis as a crazy town, but with LaRussa and McGwire together, you can count on a ton of booze and needles for everyone.  Not that McGwire can’t offer helpful advice on hitting, but I imagine he’ be quite a distraction.  And I don’t even mean because of the steroids or lying before Congress stuff.  How can the players concentrate on the game when there’s this 6’5″ monstrous ginger lurking in the dugout?  It’s jarring enough to see a normal sized ginger walking down the street with alien hair and freckled skin and empty eyes, but a behemoth like McGwire would be too much to handle.  What I’m trying to say is that Mark McGwire doesn’t have a soul and LaRussa should be butchered for even thinking about bringing him near Pujols.

From the tabloid rag New York Post:

ESPN analyst Steve Phillips had a fling with a 22-year-old production assistant, who, after being dumped, taunted his wife with “Fatal Attraction”-like phone calls and a letter that bragged about her sexcapades with Phillips while taking pot shots at their “loveless marriage,” The Post has learned.

The former Met general manager, whose tenure with the team was rocked by admissions of infidelity, confessed to his wife and local cops that he had slept with ESPN assistant Brooke Hundley several times this past summer before dumping her.

First of all, what the fuck is it with ESPN employees?  You’ve got Harold Reynolds being fired for “inappropriate hugs,” and Sean Salisbury running around showing people pictures of his cock on his cell phone.  Now Steve Phillips has bitten off more than he can chew by banging some intern.

Didn’t we learn anything from the Steve McNair incident, Steve?  If you’re going to cheat, make sure the girl is somewhat sane.  Your marriage is over, but you should be thankful you weren’t part of a murder-suicide.  But that’s not the real story here.  Not even close.

Steve Phillips is a reasonably good-looking dude with a ridiculous tan and a prestigious job.  So why on Earth is he risking his home and money to sleep with the mutant above?  How ugly is your wife?  How bad can the sex be?  I thought Clinton banging Monica Lewinsky was slumming it, but I had no idea how bad it could get.  Jesus Christ, Steve.  I can think of at least 20 things I’d rather stick my penis in before that girl, including cheese graters and blenders.  Phillips was an atrocious GM and he is was an equally bad baseball analyst, so I shouldn’t be too shocked if he thought fucking one of the Mystics from the Dark Crystal was a good idea:

Anyone with half a brain knew that David Ortiz was roiding all these years and that his ability in the clutch – unlike A-Rod’s current tear – stemmed from illegal substances.  The Red Sox have found new ways to cheat, though, and you’ve got to give them credit for thinking creatively.  From Yahoo! Sports:

The Boston Red Sox are apparently going to try and get San Diego Padres first baseman Adrian Gonzalez this off-season via trade, according to the Boston Globe. The team supposedly thought about grabbing Gonzalez at the trading deadline.

Adding fuel to the fire on this potential deal is that Red Sox assistant GMs Jed Hoyer and Ben Cherington are both supposedly in the running to become the Padres’ next general manager. So if either one of those gets brought on board in San Diego, a smoother trade path clearly opens between the two teams.

It’s pretty admirable how committed to cheating Boston is.  Between Ortiz and Manny being juiced up during their prime Red Sox years, the Pats illegally videotaping their opponents before games, and the obvious collusion that was the Kevin Garnett trade, why should more cheating from the city of Boston surprise anyone?