Chase Utley is on a legendary World Series tear and is completely owning the Yankees.  From ABC News:

Even in the World Series, Utley doesn’t pause to admire his homers. He’s had plenty of opportunities, too, connecting five times to tie Reggie Jackson’s record set in 1977 with the Yankees.

Another big swing from Utley got the Philadelphia Phillies started, and they broke out of their hitting funk in an 8-6 victory over the New York Yankees in Game 5 on Monday night.

Utley hit a three-run shot off A.J. Burnett in the first inning and a solo homer off Phil Coke in the seventh, becoming the second player to have two multihomer games in a World Series. Willie Aikens did it for Kansas City against the Phillies in 1980.

Pretty amazing,  I started thinking about how Chase Utley compares to other great second basemen (there aren’t very many), and I think he’s got a shot to be the best of all time.  He’s no worse than third-best, as only Rogers Hornsby and perhaps Joe Morgan were better players than Utley.  As Joe Buck pointed out, Utley has the highest career OPS out of any second baseman besides Hornsby.  But Hornsby pretty much played a different game (1915-1937), so comparisons between the two are difficult (for what it’s worth, Utley’s career OPS+ is 129, Hornsby’s is 175…but I also doubt that Hornsby played in a league with the level of competition that Utley faces).

Regardless of where he’s ranked, he totally deserves this letter:

That’s the only way I can explain Cliff Lee walking into Yankee Stadium last night and just totally dominating.  Lee pitched a complete game, giving up just six hits and striking out 10, and would have had a shutout if not for Rollins’ throwing error in the ninth.  But this wasn’t like Josh Beckett in 2003; it seemed like Cliff Lee was going to get guys out even if he was trying to walk them or give up a hit.  I mean, did you see his nonchalant catch and behind-the-back snag?  It was like Toby Maguire in Pleasantville when he’s playing basketball.  Lee could have shoved the baseball in his mouth and spit it toward home plate, and Matsui would hit a liner right into his glove.  Clearly the Devil is involved.

No, not this one.  I hope not, at least.  Mike Freeman over at CBS Sports has written a pro-Phillie anti-Yankee article, and it’s filled with nonsense, cliches, and heaps of bullshit.  It’s a shame that the guys from FireJoeMorgan aren’t around anymore, because this is precisely the type of article they’d tear to shreds.  That’s not really our thing here at Unathletic, but I couldn’t resist some good ol’ deconstruction on an article as bad as this one.  Personal attacks and smarmy comments ahead.

The original article appears in bold, my comments do not.

PHILADELPHIA — The smile of Ryan Howard is unmistakable and not insincere. Just like his Phillies team, there’s a wholesomeness to it. Yes, that’s the word that was just used. The ‘W’ word. Instead of what’s normally associated with this city, which is the F-bomb.

There surely is something wholesome about some good wife-beating.  Right, Brett Myers?  Also, “not insincere?”  How about just saying “sincere?”

And for now, at least, there’s no trace of that Howard smile being steroid tinged.

For now.  Everyone’s a suspect.

“You know, first coming up, this organization was considered to be a losing organization,” Howard said. Then he paused, for a moment, to digest that thought. The Phillies were once flat-out stinkified losers. Hard to believe but true.

Now, here they are, early Thursday morning, many moments after winning the NL by beating the Dodgers 10-4, hundreds of fans and many Philly players, celebrated gleefully — no riots, few jerks — the toast of a town.

The fact that Mike Freeman has to point out that there were no riots during a Philadelphia celebration should tell you all you need to know about that city’s sports fans.

It’s only a matter of time before they’re the toast of a nation.

Do you know what this World Series will be? It’ll be your classic good vs. evil phonies. That’s what it is.

We’re talking about baseball players here, right?  Classic good versus evil phonies?  What’s evil about Brett Gardner?

The Phillies, after dominating a soulless Dodgers team, are headed to the championship.
“I can’t say the Phillies wanted it more than us,” Joe Torre said.

I can and they did.

BAM!  Joe Torre couldn’t say it, but big bad Mike Freeman just said it right in your fucking face, America.

There’s more hustle in Steve Phillips’ pants than there were in the Dodgers.

Somebody get Mike Freeman a microphone and stage IMMEDIATELY.

Now, the New America’s Team, the Phillies, will almost certainly take on the Yankees after New York finishes beating up another Cali fraud, the Angels.

OK – this is pretty egregious.  Mike Freeman is implying either A) that the Angels didn’t belong in the ALCS, which is just absurd on its face, or B) that like the Yankees, the Angels are full of phonies. Yes, these Angels – who spent only about $700,000 more than the Phillies this season, by the way – are nothing but phonies.  That whole dedicating-the-season-to-Nick-Adenhart stunt?  What a joke.  You think John Lackey gives a shit about Nick Adenhart?  All he wants is to get paid.  Thanks, Mike, for calling these guys out.

These Phillies are impossible not to like, which makes them the antithesis of the Yankees and instantly a favorite of the country.

Yeah, it’s always just so difficult to not root for teams from Philadelphia.

Because any team facing the Yankees in the World Series is automatically the nation’s darling.

Oh, I see.

What the Phillies did to the Dodgers is what they’ve done in each game this postseason, which is play hard and with reckless disregard. They didn’t just beat Los Angeles — they outclassed them, in one of the more dominant NLCS performances of the past few decades.

This is true.  The NLCS didn’t come down to getting on base or relief pitching.  No, it came down to class.  Chase Utley wore a tuxedo and monocle during Game 4 while Jimmy Rollins ate sunflowers seeds with his pinky finger raised.  You think Manny’s dreadlocks are classy?  I mean, Joe Torre visibly picks his nose!  The Dodgers never had a shot!  Class!

There’s something special about this Phillies club that’s partly immeasurable. Words like guts are too clichéd but even for the normally cynical, the Phillies are an enthralling, mesmerizing bunch.

Yes, the normally cynic prefer another cliche.

While the Dodgers were all GAM and no game, the Phillies are all substance and no sass.

I honestly don’t even know what this means.

The 21st century New America’s Team, indeed.

I don’t mean to be a dick, Mike, but that’s really not very catchy.  I doubt it’s going to catch on.  Say it out loud: “The 21st century New America’s Team.”  No thanks.

The Yankees are formidable (scary good, really) but underestimate the Phillies at your own risk. Their eight or more runs three times in five different games this postseason is historic.

Meanwhile, the only people who can root for the Yankees are bankers and bandwagoners.

Has Mike Freeman ever been to New York?  Does he imagine it like the fourth stretch of the board in Monopoly?

The Yankees are corporate. The Phillies are lemonade sold on the corner on a hot summer day. And the lemonade doesn’t have any boli in it.

The Phillies spent more money than all but two teams in the National League this year.  They had the 7th-highest payroll in baseball.  So that lemonade is a fucking ripoff.

Some of the Yankees, unlike most of the Phillies, are truly hard to take. Nick Swisher is a phony, Alex Rodriguez is still suspect, and Andy Pettitte’s aw golly act gets old. CC Sabathia is a terrific guy and Derek Jeter is a credit to all of sports but their levelheaded personalities and decency traits don’t outweigh the overall Goldman Sach-ness of the Yankees.

What is phony about Nick Swisher?  Certainly not the time he donated his hair to cancer victims.  Or maybe Mike Freeman doesn’t like the guy because…I dunno, why don’t you like Nick Swisher, Mike?

And I’m a big A-rod fan, but he’s the one who’s suspect with respect to being a phony, as opposed to, say, anyone?  Jesus.

Even the Yankees’ celebrity fans are suspect, like the former mayor, Rudy Giuliani. He’s worse than Red Sox baseball fan phonies like Ben Affleck.

I guarantee that Ben Affleck knows more about baseball than Mike Freeman does.

Philadelphia manager Charlie Manuel is so down home he sweats gravy and his blood type is biscuit. Joe Girardi is an obsessive compulsive tinkerer and putterer. He makes pitching changes while deep in REM sleep. Girardi is more uptight than an Army drill instructor.

At this point I’m not really sure that Mike Freeman meant for this to be a serious article.

The Phillies aren’t perfect. Jimmy Rollins sometimes acts like he’s Nick Cannon and is a little too slick for his own good, but overall this roster oozes not with known steroid users but with decent, ego-less guys. Anyone who doesn’t like Howard should have their chest cavity MRI’d for a heart.

Except for known steroid user J.C. Romero!  Oops!  Oh, and Brett Myers says “Don’t forget about me!”

The Phillies are a collective. The Yankees are a collection agency.

This has zero meaning.

Watching the Phillies celebrate both on Monday night and then again on Wednesday after earning a World Series trip was emotional even for those of us who don’t care who wins.

That’s because the Phillies make you care.

Yes, they make me care enough to root against them.

That’s what the New America’s Team does.

That’s “The 21st century New America’s Team” to you, buddy!

I like how at 0:37, the dude in the white Phillies jersey responds to Mike’s question as if it’s the most obvious, blatant question he’s ever been asked.  Of course I can get behind Carlos, what kind of question is that?  It’s rhetorical, right?

Awwww…Brett Myers is upset that he didn’t make the Phillies NLCS roster.  Boo hoo.  According to the Philadelphia Inquirer:

“I’m upset,” the pitcher said before Game 1 against the Los Angeles Dodgers last night.

Myers, 29, had hip surgery June 4. At the time, team officials thought his season was over. The righthander stayed dedicated to a rehabilitation program and made it back in early September. The club hoped Myers could help in the bullpen, but he had a 6.43 ERA in eight games. He pitched just two-thirds of an inning in the division series.

“It’s tough going through all that [rehab],” Myers said. “This is the whole reason I tried to get back, to be in the postseason. Now they took that away.

“They said I wasn’t sharp. I disagree. They told me my curveball was sharp. That contradicts itself. But whatever. I’ll stay around and support my teammates.”

You know what else is tough?  Being a woman and assaulted by your 6-foot-4, 240-pound husband, only to see him pitch just 36 hours later.  I just can’t muster up any sympathy for Myers, a guy who has proven time and again what a class act he is.  It shouldn’t matter from Philly’s end, as they currently hold a 2-1 lead over the Dodgers, thanks in large part to the Cliff Lee acquisition.  Lee’s curveball looked great last night, and I know he’s a pretty decent pitcher, but how many more AL pitchers need to come over to the NL and totally dominate before we can acknowledge that the NL really is AAAA?  I’m pretty sure Carl Pavano would have finished in the top 3 of Cy Young voting had he pitched for the Dodgers this season.  Grienke wouldn’t have given up more than four runs.  Hell, I’m pretty sure I could get through an inning relatively unscathed.  And I’m drunk as shit right now.

After Ryan Howard’s game-tying double in the top of the 9th inning, Brad Lidge earned the save in the Phillies’ Game 4 win over the Rockies in the NLDS.  From Yahoo! Sports:

Brad Lidge, bouncing back from a rugged regular season, earned his second consecutive save by again retiring cleanup batter Troy Tulowitzki with runners on second and first for the final out.

Tulowitzki, who flied out to conclude Game 3, struck out this time and the Phillies celebrated on the infield at chilly Coors Field before retreating to the clubhouse to spray champagne.

For a little while it looked like Lidge had recovered from the moonshot Pujols hit off him in Game 5 of the 2005 NLCS, but he had been atrocious toward the end of this season.  You would think that saving back-to-back playoff games would get this guy’s confidence back up, but I doubt it was ever down to begin with.  My guess is that his poor pitching could have been attributed to injury or age.  Let me explain:  I found out not too long ago that a girl friend of my cousin’s wife had hooked up with Lidge at Notre Dame.  My cousin had the opportunity to ask about what kind of meat Lidge was twerkin’ with, and the friend replied that it was like a hammer.  Lidge had really left an impression.  My point is: if you’re packin’ the type of weapon to punish girls the way Lidge does, you’re not losing confidence when your slider doesn’t move the way you want it to.  Not for a second.